Woman Claims She Became Young Again After Dressing Like A Teenage Girl

This past Thursday, a 43 year old mother of 5 in Grosse, Minnesota, bought clothing intended for teenage girls for the first time. Patricia “Porky” Orkinbacher says she never previously purchased such clothing for herself because she believed they might, “bring too much attention to my lumpy parts.” However, after seeing how much attention her 15 year old daughter was getting while wearing the clothing, she decided to give it a try herself. After getting home she spent roughly two and a half hours trying to get into the new outfit. With the help of a friend and a little persuasion from a crowbar, Porky finally wedged herself into the last article of clothing, the skinny jeans. It took momentous effort from Porky, her friend…and the crowbar, but they got the jeans buttoned. It was as she stepped back to take a look in the mirror that she noticed the change.

“It must have happened right after we buttoned the skinny jeans, because before that Sandy (her friend) hadn’t said a thing about me looking so good.”

In all honesty, Sandy has yet to say anything about Porky looking different. It seems the strain of helping her friend into the jeans caused Sandy to pass out immediately after, and she has yet to awaken. Her condition is currently being monitored at a local hospital.

Despite her friend’s condition, Porky’s spirits are soaring higher than they have in a long time. “If I had known that wearing clothes meant for my daughter would make me young again, I would have done it a hell of a lot sooner, you can barely notice my muffin top now!” Her 15 year old daughter seems to take issue with her mom’s new, youthful look, “she won’t let me pick her up from school anymore, between you and me, I think she’s just jealous,” she said with a jiggle giggle. Turning to her husband, she winked and said, “right Earl?”

Her husband refused to comment.


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