Trump Is Proven To Literally Be Hitler

For years now, ever since he announced his candidacy for President of the United States in 2015, Donald J. Trump has been called “literally Hitler” by his political detractors. Most Americans, including myself, have largely dismissed this label as hyperbolic or metaphorical in nature. Oh, what fools we’ve been! Proof has been discovered that Adolf Hitler, the man responsible for the deaths of millions, never truly died. Yes, he put a bullet into his own brain, but that was only a bodily death. His spirit lived on and eventually became reincarnated as none other than, you guessed it, Donald J. Trump! This startling and irrefutably true information has come to us by way of world renowned spiritual expert, Guru, and Doctor of Theology, Connerie Menteuse.

“I was reclining in my favorite of several chairs, sipping my favorite Chardonnay, of which I have but a few, and getting a foot massage from my favorite of many wives when I suddenly felt the impulse to turn on my favorite television (it should be noted that he only has the one). On the television screen I saw President Donald Trump speaking at a rally. Hearing him speak has always grated on my nerves, but what I was experiencing on this occasion was decidedly worse than usual. I was filled with a sense of dread, then when he raised his hand to wave to his supporters I saw it. A dark spiritual cloud forming around him as he stood there looking on at his army of supporters as they cheered him, his hand and arm outstretched at precisely a 45 degree angle…the same angle used by none other than Adolf Hitler!”

Guru Dr. Menteuse went on to explain that when individuals are reincarnated they maintain habits and beliefs from their previous life. In this case, Trump frequently speaks publicly, as did Hitler, Trump also wants his nation to have a strong identity, as did Hitler, Trump rode in a car past a massive crowd, as did Hitler. It doesn’t end there, Trump has bad hair, which is made of hair, Hitler had a bad mustache, which is also made of hair. As you can see, the similarities are uncanny, and, according to Guru Dr. Menteuse, simply cannot be ignored. “By the time we discover Trump’s poetry, paintings, and strange mommy issues, it will be too late. Mark my words, those things will be discovered, it is inevitable.”

If the above leaves you still doubting, then consider what President Trump’s completely unbiased and non-partisan political opponents have to say…

“Trump talks a lot about being unified as a nation, but so did Hitler, if he wasn’t literally Hitler he would want division!” – Famed Native American recipe author, Elizabeth Warren

“If he isn’t Hitler reincarnate, then he is at the very least emulating Hitler in everything he says and does. I just can’t wrap my head around him not being evil, because a human being can’t literally wrap their head around something.” – Nearly a high school science fair winning Socialist, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

“I know Donald Trump is literally Hitler because of all the nationalist flags I see at his rallies. You know, the ones with the red and white stripes and the, the, things…you know what I mean… I’m Joe Biden, candidate for Senator of the United States, look me over and if you don’t like what you see vote for the other Biden.” – Apparently a candidate for Senate, Joe Biden

“How do I know Trump is Hitler? Because he wants to keep immigrants out of the country and he is using a virus that is less deadly than the flu to do it. Also, he is completely failing America during this coronavirus epidemic. We need a complete and total government takeover to ensure the American public is no longer subjected to this racist man’s irrational reasoning!” – Anti-Semitic Jew, Bernie Sanders

If, even after the expert advice of a Guru/Doctor of Theology and the unprejudiced, unbiased, and non-partisan professional opinions of political opponents of Trump, you are still in doubt as to the fact President Donald J. Trump is literally Adolf Hitler, then there is no hope for you. Your mind is feeble, your critical thinking skills are that of a stegosaurus embryo, and you should not procreate.

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