Old White Men Are Minority’s Saviors – DNC &MSM

The number of Democrat candidates for president has recently been whittled down to three, and if the DNC and mainstream media have anything to say about it, it will be down to just two in short order. Tulsi Gabbard is the last remaining woman, but the DNC and mainstream media have been ignoring her completely in an effort to steer the election in a more productive direction. There have been a grand total of 29 Democrat candidates this year, ranging greatly in age, skin color, sexual orientation, and covering both genders. The DNC celebrated this diversity, however, early on in the race they realized a problem…that these people of color, women, and gay folks just couldn’t handle the job. So, they put a plan into motion that would result in either Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders, the two oldest white male candidates, being the Democrat nominee.

When asked for comment, a spokesperson for the DNC, who conveniently wished to remain anonymous, said that, “the minority citizens in America are facing more obstacles than ever before, but they do not know how to solve these problems themselves. After all, it was only 60-150 years ago that women and people of color were treated as second-class citizens, we can’t expect them to have already caught up to white men in terms of education and reasoning skills, I mean, they’ve only been able to vote for what, a hundred years? They just don’t know how to run a country…yet. What they need is white men with life experience who have never held a job other than being a politician and never faced any kind of racial or sexist bias. This will ensure that minorities are properly looked after.”

When pressed as to how geriatric white men knew how to best serve racial minorities and women, the conveniently anonymous spokesperson said, “Joe and Bernie are both nearly 80 years old, the first women allowed to vote were their mothers and they were young men during the sixties when the civil rights movement was really picking up. They observed women and black people during all of it. This gives them the experience and insight to lift women and racial minorities out of the gutter. It is kind of like the movie ‘Pretty Woman’, Julia Roberts’ character never would have succeeded in life if Richard Gere hadn’t saved her.” The conveniently anonymous spokesperson seemed pleased with this comparison and walked away with a large, satisfied smile on his face. He then crossed the street when he noticed a couple of black men in baggy pants walking toward him.

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